Хумбле реквест
Mar. 8th, 2002 08:02 pmПодставляюсь нежным розовым брюшком. Попробовал перевести Чуковского - получилось, кажется, тяжеловато. Так что жажду критики.
| If you don't wash your little faces As thoroughly as you can, The chimney cleaner will take you away, And he's a frightful man. So long live the fluffy towels And the fragrant cakes of soap, The toothpaste means the morning's here And the combs shall not elope! That's why we wash and splatter, Whenever we have some time We jump into steaming delightful baths And hear them merrily chime. Thus we praise the shining water, The Earth's translucent daughter! |
Надо, надо умываться По утрам и вечерам, А нечистым Трубочистам - Стыд и срам! Стыд и срам! Да здравствует мыло душистое, И полотенце пушистое, И зубной порошок, И густой гребешок! Давайте же мыться, плескаться, Купаться, нырять, кувыркаться В ушате, в корыте, в лохани, В реке, в ручейке, в океане, - И в ванне, и в бане, Всегда и везде - ... |
Íàø îòâåò: âîëüíûé ïåðåâîä Èðèíû Òîêìàêîâîé
Îðèãèíàë:
Ê íàì ïî óòðàì ïðèõîäèò ãíîì.
 Ìîñêâå ïðèõîäèò, ïðÿìî â äîì,
è ãîâîðèò âñå îá îäíîì:
"Ïî÷àùå ìîéòå óøè!"
À ìû êðè÷èì åìó â îòâåò:
"Ìû òî÷íî çíàåì, ãíîìîâ íåò!"
Ñìååòñÿ îí: "Íó íåò òàê íåò,
âû òîëüêî ìîéòå óøè."
Ïåðåëîæåíèå:
Oh have you seen that little gnome
who comes at night to every home
and keeps on going, on and on:
"You better watch your language."
We yell at him, when so he goes:
"We know for sure, there are no gnomes!"
"What do you mean 'there are no gnomes'?
You better watch your language!"
Re: Íàø îòâåò: âîëüíûé ïåðåâîä Èðèíû Òîêìàêîâîé
no subject
Date: 2002-03-08 05:58 pm (UTC)íå â îáèäó, ó âàñ ñèðîï èç óøåé íå òå÷åò?
ýòî âîò merrily chime ìåíÿ äîáèëî.
wash your bloody little faces
when it dawns and when it dusks
lest the dirty bloody niggers
strip your husks!
strip your husks!
sing ho! to the bloody soap
sing ho! to the towel of doom
use often forsaken tooth powder
and comb bloody hair at noon!
so wash, baby, play in the bathroom,
go swimming, or diving all night,
wherever you want - be it river,
or ocean, or pool.. have delight!
have fun, dont be so sickly sweet -
translations should have much more meat!
no subject
×òî æå êàñàåòñÿ ñèðîïà èç óøåé - äà íåò, íåòó. Ïðîñòî ÿ ê äåòÿì îòíîøóñü íåæíî.
no subject
íî ñîãëàñèòåñü, ñëèøêîì óæ ó âàñ íàçèäàòåëüíî/ñëàùàâî ïîëó÷èëîñü, ó ÷óêîâñêîãî ëåã÷å è.. èðîíè÷íåå, ÷òî ëè.
êàê ïåðåâîäèòü áëèæå ê îðèãèíàëó - ìûñëåé íåò.
ÿ ïî íàòóðå íå ïóøêèí, ÿ ïî íàòóðå áåëèíñêèé :)
Õî-õî!
À ÷òî êàñàåòñÿ òÿæåëîâåñíîñòè - êîíå÷íî (ïðàâäà, íàçèäàòåëüíîñòè íå èìåëîñü â âèäó)! ß æ òîæå íå Ìàðøàê. Òàê ÷òî âîò è äóìàë - êàê áû åãî ïîàäåêâàòíåå ïåðåïåðåòü?
Êàðòèíêà ó Âàñ õîðîøàÿ, çàñòàâëÿåò çàäóìàòüñÿ.
Re: Õî-õî!
Date: 2002-03-09 04:25 pm (UTC)Re: Õî-õî!
Date: 2002-03-09 06:52 pm (UTC)À âîîáùå, åñòü ó Âàñ â êàðòèíêå ÷òî-òî òàêîå... Õîäèëè âîò òîëüêî ÷òî íà îçåðî Îíòàðèî. Îíî òàêîå òåìíîå ñåé÷àñ, è áðîñàåòñÿ íà áåðåã. Òàê è Âàøà êàðòèíêà - ò¸ìíàÿ è áðîñàåòñÿ.
Õîðîøî, ñûòíî.
Î ÏÎÇÎÐ!!!
2. Ñîãëàñåí
3. Òîæå ñîãëàñåí
À Âàø âàðèàíò ìíå ïîíðàâèëñÿ, òîëüêî òðåòüå ÷åòâåðîñòèøèå íåìíîæêî êîñîáîêîå.
no subject
Date: 2002-03-09 06:59 pm (UTC)â íåñêîëüêèõ ìåñòàõ (ïðîñòèòå):
1. Chimney cleaners ýòî õèìèêàòû. Òðóáî÷èñòû
ýòî chimney sweepers.
2. Elope êîíå÷íî â ðèôìó, íî óæ î÷åíü íå ïî äåòñêè...
3. Bathtubs íå ìîãóò chime, îíè æå íå êîëîêîëü÷èêè.
4. È ñàìîå ãëàâíîå, ðàçìåð íå ñîáëþäåí. Ñâîáîäíûé
ïåðåâîä ýòî ëàäíî, íî ðàçìåð äåëî ñâÿòîå, ÿ ñ÷èòàþ.
Ïîñëåäíèå ïàðà ñòðî÷åê ìíå î÷åíü ïîíðàâèëèñü,
ïî÷òè êàê Tom Bombadil :)
Ïðåäëàãàþ ñâîé âàðèàíò íà ðàñêðîøåíèå... :)
Dont forget to wash your faces,
Every morning, every night.
Or youll look
Like chimney sweepers.
What a fright!
What a fright!
So praise be the soap, fragrant like flowers
And the towel, fluffy and furry like a little mouse
And well use with aplomb
Both the toothpaste and comb
So lets all wash and splatter,
Dive, splash, slosh, and spatter.
In lavers, tubs, showers and sinks,
In rivers, seas, oceans and springs.
In baths and in spas,
All the time, everywhere
no subject
Date: 2002-03-09 07:25 pm (UTC)íå óìåþ ðåäàêòèðîâàòü, òîëüêî óäàëÿòü è ïîñûëàòü çàíîâî.
Íàñ÷åò "ïîçîðà", äà áðîñüòå Âû, ÷åñòíîå ñëîâî, òàêàÿ
ìåëî÷ü...
Òðåòüå ÷åòâåðîñòèøèå (åñëè ñ÷èòàòü ïåðâîå äâóñòèøèå)
ó ìåíÿ äåéñòâèòåëüíî êðèâîâàòîå, íî óæ î÷åíü õîòåëîñü
ñîõðàíèòü "äóøèñòîå -- ïóøèñòîå".
Òàêæå õîòåëîñü ïåðåäàòü àðõàè÷íîñòü îðèãèíàëà
"â óøàòå, â êîðûòå, â ëîõàíè" -- îòñþäà "laver".
Íå çíàþ, ïîëó÷èëîñü ëè.
Ïðèâåò!
no subject
Date: 2002-03-09 07:29 pm (UTC)×òî êàñàåòñÿ àðõàè÷íîñòè - íó, ïåðåâîä-òî äëÿ ñîâðåìåííûõ äåòåé, òàê ÷òî íàäî ëè? ÿ ïîýòîìó, â ÷àñòíîñòè, ïåðåâåë è toothpaste, à íå êàê-ëèáî èíà÷å.
no subject
Date: 2002-03-09 07:51 pm (UTC)ðóññêîÿçû÷íûå äåòè åå óâèäÿò.